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Hum.... I dunno know really where to start. I know that you always tell me not to worry about it, or its ok after I get mad at you. But dont think that it doesnt hurt me. I hate doing that to you, and I promise that I am going to start getting better at it. Its just getting old not being able to see you and all that. Its like this is how our relationship is supposed to be, atleast thats the way it feels because it seems like we have been doing this forever. I think I just get tired of the idea that I have to leave you all the time, and all I want is to spend all my time with you that I possible can. I am sorry for getting mad at you last night, just always know that I love you, and I never want to lose you. I think sometimes I just get scared that your are going to leave me, find something better I dunno, i just sometimes get that feeling I dont know why I just do. I mean dont get me wrong I know you love me and care about me a lot, I just honestly dont know what I would do if I ever last you. Basically I cant wait till you fly down here and then I dont have to say goodbye to you like this ever again, all I will have to say goodbye to you is for a weekend or something. I miss you so much... and that cry thing didnt work out to well... I dont know why you would think that it would get better. But everytime I came home its just worst and worst. But like I was saying I am glad that we went through this... its just I have learned what I needed from it and it needs to be over with. haha.. do you remember when we first started haingnig out and we were talking about if we should stay together or not over the summer... oh boy im I glad that we did. I truely do look to you as my best friend, and I came talk to you about everything before anyone else. But anyways I just want you to know that I am sorry, and that I love you very much, and I want to marry you. I mean all this when I say it too, I know I say other things when I get mad, but I have that problem where the angry comes out in me. I love spending time with you, I wouldnt trade it for anything. But I am gonna go run now, so I hope you had a good day, and I promise over the next 5 days I am going to try and call you as much as possible. Love you lots honey and I already miss you like crazy. Hopefully I will see you sooner than and a half weeks! love ya love,kels
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