If you order your custom term paper from our custom writing service you will receive a perfectly written assignment on Bull. What we need from you is to provide us with your detailed paper instructions for our experienced writers to follow all of your specific writing requirements. Specify your order details, state the exact number of pages required and our custom writing professionals will deliver the best quality Bull paper right on time.
Our staff of freelance writers includes over 120 experts proficient in Bull, therefore you can rest assured that your assignment will be handled by only top rated specialists. Order your Bull paper at affordable prices!
Its my dirty little secret. Its the one thing in my life that only I know about. I am the only one that can make it happen, and I am the only one who can make it stop. My ritual is almost automatic, as I close and lock bathroom door, then turn on the sink. It sickens me as I look into the toilet bowl and realize that my face has been in this position every day for many months. The nauseating smell makes this routine easier, yet even more disgusting. Sticking my head inside this porcelain bowl as my face and hair get splashed with vomit and toilet water, the anger inside myself ascends. I rise to rinse my face off, but displeased, I know that the work isnt done. I look at myself in the mirror with hatred and revulsion being the only feelings staring back at me. I go down yet again for another round. Jumping up, gasping for breath, staring at the contents of my stomach, I wash off my face and look at myself with infuriation, hatred, repulsion, ...I HATE YOU! My name is Mandi, and that is what bulimia has done to me. It has given me a reason to always hate myself. It is my revenge on the world, but the hostage is me. I get into a fight with my parents?… well if that's what they want to do, Im going to go make myself throw up. My boyfriend doesnt want me?… well, wont he be sorry. Look at what I can do, I can throw up! Ridiculous, but it's what helps me cope . I hate myself for it and I know it's bad for me, but it's all I could find to soothe the pain. I decided that I would start to eat all the foods that I wanted and loved. To overcome the guilt, I would simply purge, or regurgitate my food. So every time I binge, I purge. I binge and throw up, up to six times a day. I know whenever I eat food it is going to come out anyway, so I tell myself that it is alright, even though I know inside that it's not. I hate purging…it is disgusting. It hurts my throat badly and it makes my eyes and nose water… but do you think I stop because of it? No, I still do it. It is my solution to my problems. I cry all the time about my weight or my life in general, then eat to comfort myself, then throw it all away. I feel so much better after the food is out…I feel in control…I feel light and happy… but deep down, I know that it is nothing but a false sense of security. No one knows about my problem, not my friends or my family. Although for some reason Im just dying to tell someone! I guess thats why Im writing this. Overall, the affects from this method of weight-loss is ok...for the most part. I mean, sure I get a blistering sore throat and my stomach hurts right afterwards, but I do see the weight loss. That's what I wanted, right? Im not the kind of person who eats a load of food right before purging, I just throw-up the big meals (i.e. dinner.) And this is not the cause of depression, or family problems. I mean, of course I have problems in my life as everyone else does, but Im just a normal teenager, who in the beginning, only wanted to shed a few pounds. Now, in the end, I want to quit the bad eating habits, yet cannot find the willpower to do so, or to even try for that matter. "What the hell does purging do for you?," one may ask… I throw up to cleanse, to purify, to try and make things go away. Im smart. I know exactly what I am doing. I know exactly how to stop. I also know that there is plenty wrong with me right now, because I dont want to end it. I am not ready to. I have begun to wonder what it would be like if I had a heart attack. Would I have to tell the doctors I was bulimic? I assume I would, so then the cat would be out of the bag. I think of my parents expressions as they would look down on me in my bed saying, I cant believe we didnt know."
Bulimia has held me captive in so many ways. I can't eat like all the rest of my friends, and not feel guilty about it. The first thing that comes to mind is how it will go straight to my thighs, or bum, etc. I oversleep and I am tired constantly. I drink too much and over-eat. I always have cottonmouth, and my eyes are persistently bloodshot. My life is on the edge, and I am slowly falling off. (I never thought that I would hear myself say that I wanted to be anorexic, but now that I want to quit over-eating, I can now say that I do want to be ANOREXIC.) My favorite foods that I once loved, are now merely frustrations of hunger that exist in my life now. I live in a world of nothing but lies and sneakiness, so that I can successfully purge after every meal without anyone knowing about it. Whether it is my parents, my friends, or anyone else, they can't know. I am trapped in my house steadily, because I can't spend a day out with friends since I don't like purging in public, nor do I want suspicions to arise. I get such a sore throat from the acid coming up from my stomach, with the food that I could not swallow traveling in a river of blood among it. I nearly choke myself to death lots of times and it's so, so horrible! Yet, I can't help but continue. Bulimia is like a monster, a demon, inside of me. With its own mind, and its own controls fighting battles with mine, always winning the fight. A mischievous sprite growing stronger with every meal consumed, then rejected. It is always with me, whispering in my ear about how bad food can make me look. There is always that temptation to throw-up, especially since I have no control of my eating now, and since I binge/purge regularly. What is troublesome, is that I always give in to that temptation. I want to be free from all that. I just want to be happy. But I find that it's harder than I thought it ever would be. You see, an alcoholic can put down the alcohol…a cocaine addict can walk away from the crack and recover…but a bulimic cannot liberate food. WE HAVE TO EAT! WE NEED FOOD TO SURVIVE! Its not like we are putting something toxic in our bodies that does not belong there -- food DOES belong there. That is what makes consuming food so difficult. Bulimia just plains sucks. It is something I thought I could handle, but turned out to slap me in the face. It is a never-ending ordeal, that I now wish I had never started. I am now in a trap that I cannot get out of. I cannot quit bingeing and throwing up. It is very scary, yet I am even more afraid of getting fat. Why is it such a scary thing?…I have no clue. I simply dread being overweight. I have forgotten the meaning to self-control in anything in life. I pray that no one will ever start this because it is not cool, and it should not be accepted. I am living this secret double life of shame and self hatred. It is sick to fear a digested meal as I do, and no one else should ever have to. This disease sucks and it wont let go of me!I have become a magician. I hide things in places where no one will ever find them. I have pain stored in places I didnt even know existed. So now, I guess I am working on my disappearing act. Im hoping that the grand finale will be a resurrection of the girl I used to be. Please note that this sample paper on Bull is for your review only. In order to eliminate any of the plagiarism issues, it is highly recommended that you do not use it for you own writing purposes. In case you experience difficulties with writing a well structured and accurately composed paper on Bull, we are here to assist you. Your cheap custom college paper on Bull will be written from scratch, so you do not have to worry about its originality.
Order your authentic assignment and you will be amazed at how easy it is to complete a quality custom paper within the shortest time possible!
