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Psychological and Social Effects of Divorce on ChildrenWhen couples with children divorce, the common belief between the separating partners is that it is for the best. They find that they have reached a point in their relationship where the differences are so great and insurmountable, that the only way that they can protect themselves, and their children from the pain of an ongoing dysfunctional relationship, is to separate; however, what might seem best in the parents' eyes is not necessarily best for the children. Many children from divorced families carry the psychological scars, and social disabilities well into their adult life.For a child, divorce is a traumatic experience; the security provided by the family unit is irretrievably lost. The family and the home are broken up often resulting in relocation, and a change of school, causing a loss of friendships already formed and thus, plunging the child into a period of great uncertainty and stress. In a number of instances the parents are left floundering in an attempt to rebuild a post-divorce life, and come to rely increasingly upon their children for support. The roles have been reversed and the children often find themselves adopting the role of caregiver for parents and for siblings, effectively taking away their childhood, and in certain cases forcing them to be responsible for their own welfare. "The day my parents divorced was the day my childhood ended" (Wallerstein, Lewis, Blakeslee 296), is a sentiment echoed by many children in a twenty-five year study conducted in San Fransisco by Wallerstein, Lewis and Blakeslee.Childhood, and especially play associated with childhood, is a fundamental part of growing up and maturing. It helps teach the social skills, and define roles and moral attitudes that are essential in later life, and when this takes place within the secure environment of the family unit, a template is formed for productive social interaction. When the family unit is no longer secure and in place this template is lost, and the new paradigm that is created is not one that promotes functionality in interpersonal relationships.
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In post-divorce situations the separated partners struggle to rebuild their lives, and this often includes attempts at other relationships. Many of these relationships fail, and the children are now witness to another instance of failed adult interactions reinforcing the emerging belief that a functional relationship is not attainable. The statistics are alarming. According to Divorce Magazine, fifty percent of first marriages in 1997 ended in divorce, and in the same year sixty percent of remarriages were dissolved (1). International statistics show that forty-nine percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce (1). It is the children of these ill-fated unions that carry the legacy of divorce into and well beyond their teenage years.The breaking up of a marriage has many effects upon a child. In cases where parents rely heavily upon the children for support it is at the expense of other areas of development and growth. Most notably school attendance and school performance deteriorates. The study by Wallerstein et al notes a fourteen year old boy who, after his mother left the family, took upon himself the responsibilities relinquished by the absent mother, foregoing school and extra curricular activities in order to care for his father who was described as being "in a state of collapse" (7). In this case the fourteen year old is burdened with responsibilities well beyond his years, and an important part of his adolescent development is irretrievably lost.Another incidence of dysfunctional adolescence brought on by divorce is the rebellion aspect. While many children rebel throughout their teenage years, it is found that the percentages among children of divorce are noticeably higher. Over half the teenagers in the Wallerstein study were drinking or taking drugs by the time they were seventeen, compared to forty percent of all teenagers nationwide (88). Many children use drugs and alcohol as an escape from feelings of loneliness, guilt, or abandonment stemming from the after effects of divorce. The sustained use of alcohol and narcotics has other far-reaching effects, usually culminating in criminal activity, and eventually law enforcement and judicial involvement. The Los Angeles Times, September 19th 1988, cited that out of twenty-five thousand juvenile offenders, seventy-two percent came from broken homes (cited in Amneus 179).Many girls from divorced families engage in sexual activity at an early age. Either out of a longing to have the affection that was denied since the marital break up, or as Wallerstein states, "Sex is a way to get even with both parents – to get what their moms couldn't have (a man), to get what they missed growing up (a man), and to vent their anger and disdain (onto that same man)." (189). Random sexual encounters run the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies that either end in abortion and the psychological after effects, or an increase in the number of single mothers.In some cases, children may blame the parents for the situation they find themselves in, and react with verbal or physical abuse. This was the case of a child referred to as Larry in the Wallerstein study who, after witnessing physical abuse by his father to his mother, adopted his fathers' violent role after the divorce. Later, Larry confessed that he was "…infuriated with my mother and I wanted my dad to return home" (88). At the end of the spectrum when the enormity of the pressures of divorces become too much, suicide may seem the only solution open to some children. The stress and uncertainty of post-divorce life, can lead to depression that can result in suicidal tendencies. According to a study by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, suicide is the third leading cause of death for fifteen to twenty-four year olds in America (1), and as David Lester stated in his book Death Studies "among all possible contributing factors only divorce rates were consistently associated with suicide and with homicide rates" (qtd. in Gallagher 36).After the teenage years the legacy of divorce is carried into adult life where it manifests itself in the fear of conflict inside relationships, the perceived expectation of abandonment in relationships, and the inability to effectively resolve interpersonal disputes due to the fact that the only reference model they have of adult interactions, stems from their own experiences of a broken home. Many children from divorce find it difficult initiating, maintaining, and sustaining intimate personal relationships in later life, either from a fear of failure, or from an inability in effective interpersonal communication, again stemming from the paradigm they had as a child. As one of the children interviewed at the end of the twenty-five year Wallerstein study so poignantly put it "If you are afraid of loss, you are only safe if you have nothing to lose" (61).It seems from studies and statistics that when partners divorce it brings out less than the best in their children. When the template for normal adult relations is lost, it seems that it's irretrievable, especially when compounded by other failed relationships. The loss of the family unit deprives the child of the secure environment necessary to nurture the growth, learning, and understanding that allows a smoother transition from adolescence to adulthood. The problems encountered by children of divorce are not insurmountable, but more often than not, they must be worked out by themselves over an extended period of time. Bibliography·The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Wallerstein, Lewis, Blakeslee·www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml·www.dirvorcemag.com/statistics/statsWorld.shtml·www.dirvorceform.org/crime.html·www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/suicide.htm· Please note that this sample paper on psychological and social effects of divorce on children is for your review only. In order to eliminate any of the plagiarism issues, it is highly recommended that you do not use it for you own writing purposes. In case you experience difficulties with writing a well structured and accurately composed paper on psychological and social effects of divorce on children, we are here to assist you. 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